Hers: With My Feet in the Air and My Head on the Ground

Just a few days ago I took my first Kundalini Yoga class. Wow. What an experience. Very different from what I know yoga to be. I had little idea of what to expect, just the usual and general understanding that a yogi might have of other traditions - which can be no understanding at all. My expectation included a lot of intense breath work and arm flapping, but other than that...I didn't know what was coming.

One of my ongoing moment to moment goals is to experience life as it happens, with no expectations and preconceived ideas of how things should be. I sometimes talk about this in class - can we (can I) take a pose like it's the first time ever taking that pose. Can I feel it new with each new approach? Can I maintain what the Zen masters refer to as "beginners mind?" For me, this allows an open curiosity to life, a beautiful naivete that keeps the cynical and judgemental side of myself quieter. It's not always easy, especially when I know about something, as in: I know about yoga, I've been teaching it for many years. This is how it should be done...Luckily, I have a fairly loud voice somewhere within that REGULARLY lets me know that I don't know much at all. So with this new Kundalini experience, I was able to just let myself go, listen to what the teacher told me to do, and be with whatever happened.

This captures how I felt in class...on a path,
a magical path, upward, elevation 9,900 ft
and climbing, explosive,
right out the top of my head...

At first I felt weird, like - what the heck's going on - everyone's probably watching me and I look like a total dork, I have no idea what I'm doing. (Welcome back to being a new student Jennifer; this is how each new student taking their first class feels!) But soon, I forgot about everyone around me. I started to feel my breath and then my body and its movement, at first controlled and a bit stiff, slowly becoming more fluid. I felt the movement of breath moving body moving energy, all synchronized;  the strong and forceful beat of my arms generating heat and more energy. Eyes closed - keep the eyes closed she said. Lift your inner gaze, upward, upward with the gaze. Repeating the mantra SAT NAM, SAT NAM, SAT NAM. Each breath faster, then slower, hold, release...on  it went, arms up, arms down, crossing arms overhead, tiger claw hands, lifting hips, lowering hips, folding over leg, lifting, lowering, breathing, holding, SAT NAM, SAT NAM........and away I went. Up, up, and away. Rising, rising...I was air rising, helium; spacey and ethereal, I was on my way to the heavens and the elusive higher realms of existence.

I can definitely see how one can get swept away with the practice. It was something else.

Like I said, it was very different, yet... at the same time, somewhere within all that breathing and movement, it was very much the same. Chanting, breath work, posture work, more breath work, more chanting… all in a day’s yoga class. It’s all the same, just mixed together in a different way with a little more focus on some things rather than others. It's like sitting down with a map in front of you deciding which road to take to where ever you are going...Kundalini Yoga is just one road of many.

It was a fun road that night, but for me, that upward movement physically and energetically - I have lots of that naturally. I can easily pass a day dreaming, lost in thought, lost is space. In fact, it wouldn't be unusual for me to stop and spin and flap my arms around just because. Not that we were spinning in class, but sometimes it felt like we were. I know my understanding of the practice is still very limited and I could have it all wrong; but I also know I need ground. I need earth. I need to root down into some solid standing postures and hold them for awhile. But I’m glad it’s there – Kundalini Yoga and its approach – for those times I just want to be up in my head, in the clouds, in the heavens…