I walked up the stairs at the studio and felt light, light in spirit – a deep inner peace, joy.
Did it last? Do moments like these ever?
Well, I suppose if they did we could, as my teacher has said, roll up our mats and go home.
The day was lovely, classes went smoothly, time with my
private students rewarding, but these glimpses of what can only be called
perfection are as brief as a breath.
And like the breath, we must notice them.
On a Wednesday:
Gary’s brother stopped by this morning at 6:20am. He was hoping that Gary would be awake and go golfing with him. Of course Gary was awake and of course he went golfing. These two things are givens. I came out of our room with a smile and an unlit candle, looking for a lighter.
“Helllloooo Brother.”
“Hellloooo Sister. Whatcha doin’? Meditatin’?”
“Yup.”
And like the breath, we must notice them.
On a Wednesday:
Gary’s brother stopped by this morning at 6:20am. He was hoping that Gary would be awake and go golfing with him. Of course Gary was awake and of course he went golfing. These two things are givens. I came out of our room with a smile and an unlit candle, looking for a lighter.
“Helllloooo Brother.”
“Hellloooo Sister. Whatcha doin’? Meditatin’?”
“Yup.”
And off I go into the yoga room. I start my metta practice.
It becomes a morning of men….Gary’s image appears. I direct to him. Then
his brother, their dad, my dad, my stepdad, my brother, men that come to the
studio, friends, more family….they come and go. I keep returning to Gary. His
image fills my heart and I send that love to him.
On a Sunday:
Some days, today, I feel strange directing these sentiments toward myself. I thought I had long gotten over that, back when I first explored metta work. But as I sit each morning, as I begin my sitting practice with "May I, may I, may I..," it seems so self-centric. Some days, I try to bring someone to mind, someone I love or someone who challenges me. But I regularly return to "may I."
On a Sunday:
Some days, today, I feel strange directing these sentiments toward myself. I thought I had long gotten over that, back when I first explored metta work. But as I sit each morning, as I begin my sitting practice with "May I, may I, may I..," it seems so self-centric. Some days, I try to bring someone to mind, someone I love or someone who challenges me. But I regularly return to "may I."
Jack Kornfield suggests that we spend months focusing our metta toward ourselves. Months taking care of our selves before we turn our attention to others. Yet still...it sometimes feels strange.
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